• Any time you do work yourself, you’ve chosen not to use the services of someone who’s probably better at it than you are. There might be really good reasons for that choice, but inertia isn’t one of them.
• The inability to say the thing that will make everything better (because of fear of shifting the status quo) is a project killer.
• The only reason to venture into the land of the new is to benefit from the leap that comes when you get it right. So leap.
• Delivering your message in different ways, over time, not only increases retention and impact, but it gives you the chance to describe what you’re doing from several angles.
• The key is understanding that while the general public can root for you and learn from you, the people you truly care about number in the thousands (or possibly millions) but they’re not everyone. They’re the people who matter to you. And you to them.
• Promising perfect is actually not nearly as useful as promising what the rules are.
• Great marketers don’t make stuff. They make meaning.
• Choose wisely. It’s perhaps the most important decision we make, every day.
• We cure disagreements by building a bridge of mutual respect first, a bridge that permits education or dialogue or learning. When you burn that bridge, you’ve ensured nothing but conflict.
• It doesn’t take 135 minutes to make a life, it takes almost a century.
• Life is actually far better than it is in the movies. And it takes longer.
• Do work and get paid once. Build an asset and get paid for as long as it lasts.
• Your choice: intentionally build and nurture your assets, or ignore them in the pursuit of the next thing…
• The more choices, the more freedom, the more freedom, the harder it is to decide what to do next. If you don’t view that as a good thing, it’s probably worth doing something else instead.
• Dreams are irresistible, but they will never match reality when it finally appears.
• What works is significantly more important than what’s new.
• All too often, the ones who are aggressively seeking the theory of the day don’t have a lot to show for what they did yesterday.
• That means (surprisingly) that it’s better to have a consistently negative experience than to confront one that’s sometimes negative and sometimes neutral. – Sad but it’s the truth for most people.
• When you shine a light, both of you can see better.
• You don’t get to just do the good parts.The very thing you’re seeking only exists because of the whole. We can’t deny the difficult parts, we have no choice but to embrace them.
• It’s the important, not the urgent, that deserves attention.
• No, the only way to know what people think is to watch what they do, not what they say. Do they come back for more? Do you cause them to change their behavior? Can you make them smile?

I know all these but somehow they are so difficult to do.

Conflict. Everybody hates the word yet everybody is prone to starting one. And when there is conflict, most people just tend to avoid it–acting as if nothing happened.

We all need to deal with difficult people and since we are difficult people ourselves, it becomes quite a great challenge. The result of such conflicts, more often than not, are destructive. The right thing to do is to resolve them. Even before it starts, you can choose to avoid being hurt or being the one to cause the hurt.

I am not the best person to talk about resolving conflicts because I am still dealing with a few. I believe that things happen not only for a reason but for many reasons—mainly to teach each one of us of our weaknesses and to finally see that changes must be done.

Conflicts are inevitable. You can’t say, “I’m okay. I’m a good person. I have no enemy. I haven’t hurt anyone.” I used to think this way but one thing I learned, YOU ARE NOT AS GOOD AS YOU THINK. You are not pleasing everybody with your words and actions. Not all people will agree with your honesty, good intentions, and faith.  Not everybody will enjoy your sarcasm. Not everybody will like how you’ve stand up for your own rights. Not everybody will like you for questioning injustice. Not everyone will understand why you chose to fight. No one likes to be told they are wrong.

It can be painful to be in the midst of conflict especially when the other party is oblivious to your pain…when all they see are the things that went wrong. It’s more painful that despite all the stress you’ve experienced, you’re still the one being mocked and hated. When all you wanted to see was change. When all you wanted was to feel welcomed. When all you wanted to happen was whatever was right in the eyes of the community and of God.

I can never, ever stand cruelty. I cannot stand mediocrity. I can’t bear to be stepped on. I cannot stand seeing my loved ones get hurt, confused, and disrespected.

I am a very brave person but I learned that facing your fears by fighting back isn’t always the solution. Because your words sometimes fall on deaf ears. Some things happen, no matter how unfortunate and hurtful, for a reason. And while you are still under God’s cover, believe it or not, are always for your good.

Thing is, this “good” can be enveloped in fear, pain, and tears…sometimes in paranoia. The result: you’re left alone. You can be heard, yes, but that was in the past. Your cries and demands ignored because the one causing fear and injustice must be pleased.

Saving face. Sometimes we are guilty of this. No, make that–all the time. Who wants a speck in the eye anyway? But you know, there is more to life than saving face. To be disgraced is not always a bad thing as long as the people who should really matter to you are heard, understood, and comforted.

I guess I will never understand why people can still be blinded to the truth that change must be done. Whatever one thinks is working is just but a facade.

There is more to life than having a good name, than living in perfect harmony with others. Life isn’t perfect. You have to face your fears and face the enemy. It’s not right to avoid conflict. It’s not right to forget and not talk about it. That cheapens the circumstances…the learning experience of those involved.

They say that when you forgive, you have to let go and forget. But doesn’t it cheapen forgiveness?

I am still working on this new website. I haven’t gotten a copy of my old posts yet but it’s just there somewhere. Like I said, I’d be blogging more often  here and try to leave away from Facebook and Twitter. 🙂

Year 2011 is one of the best so far and we’re only half-way through it. I say, “Greater things have yet to come.”

Ever had something stolen from you?

Something happened early Monday morning at our compound. A sports bike was stolen from my neighbor’s gate at around 3 am. I am aware of akyat-bahay gangs but never did I imagine that I will be a victim. Well, it’s not really me and the item was not really my friends’ Ying and Marco’s property. A friend of theirs’ asked to have his expensive bike be parked there for the meantime while he’s on a trip. I’m just almost a victim because it was stolen right under our noses. As in the thieves were less than 20 meters from where my friend Aileen and I were seated.

At 12:00 midnight, Ying went to our house, together with her dog Chewey, for our regular midnight chika. My boys were already asleep and she just got home. At around 3 AM, the dog went to our door and started barking. Ying just told Chewey to stop and be quiet. I heard the sound of a gate being opened thinking it was Marco. At such hours, I’m used to still hearing or seeing him outside to meet some of our neighbors. We didn’t notice anything unusual.

And then after around 10 or 15 minutes, Marco called for Ying and said the bike was stolen.What?! We hurried outside and saw that the gate was opened. I couldn’t believe it! Our next-door neighbors have been robbed while we were busy exchanging life stories. How did it happen?? Their lights were turned on, the car was parked outside, and our light inside the house was also turned on. It was obvious that people were still awake and yet the thieves were able to destroy the gate and get the bike. They even tried to open the main door. Fortunately, nothing was stolen from inside.

Marco, Aileen’s better half and the trusted, go-to guy in our compound, heard the sound of their gate. He thought it was Ying finally coming home. After a while, he realized no Ying came up and asked wondered what could be taking her so long. It was really weird. And then he saw the door was wide open, went out to see the bike gone, and the main gate which they don’t usually open, also wide open.

After calling us, Marco called the Barangay Tanod guys he knows and within a few minutes, they came. They tried to survey the area for the thieves with a black bike but to no avail. Perhaps they’ve already gotten away or have hidden somewhere near. We don’t know. The bike was never recovered. They even asked the nearby gas station if someone tried to have his bike tires vulcanized because the tires wire flat.

I woke up my husband Joshua to share the news. He was completely shocked. I asked him to come down but he couldn’t leave the baby. I just gave him his phone (just in case something happens) as I will be staying outside with my friend.

Ying and I checked how it happened. We were able to figure it out. I’m not going to illustrate how because it’s kind of difficult. The thieves didn’t destroy anything except for the tiny metal welded on top. They were clearly experts. They could be surveying the gate and the bike days before. These were no amateurs I tell you because one won’t be able to figure out how to open the gate unless he’s seen it a dozen times.

And the time of the crime? Man, I got scared thinking they could be watching our moves. You see, being the night owls that we are, we are still up and very much alive at those hours. The thieves were probably watching us: Ying went inside our house with the dog and since Chewey was known to be a mean barker, the thieves took the opportunity. The sound of the gate they’d be producing was normal. And the probability that we (my friend and I) would hear something but think it was just the neighbors…etc.

I stayed with my friend inside their house for a while. My husband couldn’t get back to sleep and was bothered so he went outside to check on us.

We were shocked. We couldn’t stop analyzing what just happened. We were thankful though that nothing happened to us and that only the bike was stolen.

I went home and tried to sleep at 5am but it took me an hour. Joshua stayed downstairs.

The next day, we could hear their gate being fixed. As for us, we started to use the padlock again. Between me and my husband, I’m the one who’s more OC checking on the doors, locks, and windows but since that incident, Joshua checks the gate before going to sleep. He even wants to buy a baseball bat just so we’d have something to hit the thieves or whoever with. Just in case…

We’ve learned a few lessons:

1. Make sure the gate has padlock or is chained. Even if you live in a gated village, you’ll never know when crooks would strike. For a few years, Josh and I live inside a very secure village in Makati. We were not used to locking our gates and doors because it was that secure. I guess it was never a habit for us.

From my husband: When it comes to a non-gated village, always assume the worst in people outside your house.

2. Even if there are chains or padlock, always lock the door! Another bike was inside the house and the thieves could have stolen that one too. Plus there’s a mobile phone and a netbook somewhere. The thieves opened the door perhaps to steal some more stuff but maybe they heard footsteps and the dog barking so they went away fast.

From my husband: You can never be too safe with padlocks and chains. When in doubt, use more.

3. Never under estimate the power of a dog barking at ungodly hours. The dog was barking near our door but we simply dismissed it. Who knew really that Chewey was sensing something strange. We were too confident that night. Or maybe just so into our chat. Some people would immediately say it’s annoying but a dog only barks that way when something is wrong or strange.

Husband: Get a good guard dog– a noisy and loud guard dog.

And some more from him:

Learn to defend yourself, just in case. A baseball bat might be your best friend.

The best burglars come when you least expect them.

The smart thief steals when you’re not at home. The brilliant thief steals when you’re at home.

We’re okay though. Thank God that we weren’t harmed. I wasn’t really worried because the item stolen wasn’t theirs or ours. But the fact that they came even when we’re home and awake, somehow scared me.

Some people may worry about our security where we live but please don’t. Asking us to move into a gated village or a condo won’t help. I believe that there is not one place in this city where one is too safe. Crimes happen wherever, whenever. To anyone. Young and old alike. The rich or the poor.

The only safe place I know is in the arms of Christ.

And with these verses from the Bible I close:

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. – Psalm 18:2 (NLT)

The Lord will always keep me from being harmed by evil, and he will bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. Praise him forever and ever! Amen. – 2 Timothy 4:18 (CEV)

But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one. – 2 Thessalonians 3:3 (NIV)

Photo By: Jonno Witts

I’ll try to make this my permanent home in cyberspace. I haven’t renewed my old site (www.reah.info) so I decided to finally get this.

I had a hard a time deciding which domain to buy. And then I thought why not just blueberry010.com since I’ve been using that handle for more than a decade now.

But why BLUEBERRY010?

It was my first Yahoo ID. When I first registered an e-mail address back in 1998, some of my high school friends were using fruits as nicknames.  I joined the bandwagon. The 010, I only meant to add the 10 (ten) to represent my then crushes’ initials. Yep, crushes. Plural. 10 for J. Unfortunately, my husband Joshua wasn’t included in my crush list then. Hihi.

So yeah, I think this will be ‘HOME’.